Things I Learned on the California Trip

As I read over the posts that I wrote on the California trip, I made a list of the things I learned on each day and linked the posts below.

Today, as I re-write and re-edit, I come again upon thoughts of Amelia Earhart. Her name came up more than once. Like her I was traveling solo.

She was famous for being the first woman to fly across the Atlantic, and for doing so alone. Maybe this sounds silly, but my trip was a first too. It was the first one-week vacation I’d taken by myself. I drove to California alone in 2021, but I stayed with Scarlett. In 1994, I went to Toronto by myself for five days, to chose a house for the family, as we were moving there. It was a business trip that, as I remember, didn’t go well, as I panicked and changed hotels. There was an incident with a young man on the plane I’d rather forget. The house I chose was too far from the city center. Even earlier, in 1982, I’d gone to Mexico alone to study Spanish at a language school. That trip was not a good memory either.

Amelia Earhart, of course, started with success, and ended in disaster. There is reason whenever we start something new to remember the threats.

Risks of Disaster

I reflect today that whenever you try to do something really unusual, really big, you run risks. Just making this trip to California and back made me feel like someone special, but to do that I had to accept risks large and small. And discomforts. Disappointments. The two solo trips I’d taken in 1994 and 1982 had gone badly, and I’d decided I wasn’t competent to do things like that alone. I had panicked, I didn’t handle transitions or new people well, I couldn’t advocate for myself.

On this trip, however, I think I did that. Staying safe, I kept the car’s gas tank full. Navigating, using the cell phone, by myself. Planning my activities. I went to yoga, and out to eat, and to the beach, and up Highway 1, all by myself.

Getting Older Can Be Good

Getting older isn’t always bad. When I was young, I didn’t know how to do things, I got lost, brought and bought the wrong stuff, charged up my credit cards, met up with characters who seemed cool at the time but now I do not want to remember them — but today, I paid for everything in cash. I brought everything I needed, stayed out of sketchy locations and away from sketchy people.

I gathered the moral of the blog posts I wrote during the trip below. It was an interesting list. Here, then, are the nine posts of the California Pilgrimage:

The Blog Posts I Wrote, the Things I Learned

Loomings of a California Spiritual Journey — Every Small Task Must Be Done with Fidelity

Is 700 Miles too Far to Drive in One Day? — You can Make the Most of it or you can Complain.

The Long Drive Continues — Utah to the Sea — And Don’t Assume Other People Understand Things You Think are Obvious.

In the Land of the Lotus Eaters — Once You’ve left home, you have to Fight to Return.

I think Dad misunderstood California dreaming — a Californian can’t be a Softie, and Happiness is an Inside Job.

Driving to Big Sur — Stay Inside the Lines

A Day in San Luis Obispo — We are Not Really Alone

Fear is a Friend that’s Misunderstood. — Leaving Can be Hard

Last Day of the California Pilgrimage — And It’s Okay to Feel Alone Sometimes

The Yet to Be Unanswered Questions

I find, in the first blog post, the questions I originally intended to answer by taking this trip. They are:

What went wrong with my life plan?

Did I make some critical error?

Who am I now, and who do I want to be?

And is that person that I want to be reachable?

More About The Answers

I realize that I know more about these answers than I did, much more. For now, the koans I collected on the days of the trip will have to be enough. The bigger analysis of the things I learned will have to be next week.